Do you wish you could return to a moment in your past?

     Everyone has those moments where they look back at old memories and think, “I wish I could do that again.” Maybe it’s a big once in a lifetime thing like graduation or a wedding. Of course I haven't done either of those since I’m a child but I’ve still done fun things with my friends or family that I like to reminisce about. But I’ve never wished I could actually experience them again.

    Of course, I still have moments I regret. One memory from my past that stands out is when I went with my mom to see Hamilton a few years ago. I had been wanting to go for months and so had she. We both listened to the soundtrack over and over again, wishing we could be there in person. 

    Finally, one year for Christmas, my parents bought tickets to watch Hamilton in Chicago. And honestly, I feel like I wasn’t as excited as I should have been, given that I was obsessing over it for months. But it’s understandable -- it was Christmas and there were lots of distractions. I spent the day exchanging gifts and seeing family, not to mention I was excited about a sleepover I was having with my friends the next day. 

    Driving up to Chicago on the 27th, I felt like my mind wouldn’t rest. We parked the car, walked around a bit, ate lunch, walked to the theater, waited in line, and finally took our seats. The whole day went by in a blur, including the musical I had been looking forward to for months.

    Being in the noisy city was already pretty new for me (I had been there a couple times, but it was still a shock), and when you add on the excitement of being in a giant theater - a REAL theater - for the first time and seeing a world-famous musical, you can imagine that 12-year-old me was pretty overwhelmed. There was so much to take in and not enough time to savor it all. 

    When I think about this specific memory and what I would change about it, I realize I didn’t enjoy it as much as I could have because I wasn’t present in the moment. I was so overwhelmed with everything going on that I couldn’t focus on what was happening.

    If anything, that day taught me to live in the moment and enjoy life to the fullest. To take a deep breath every once in a while, look around, and appreciate everything good in the world. 

    How would I be living in the moment if I’m wasting my time wishing I was 12 years old again watching Hamilton? Short answer - I wouldn’t.

    I may look back at this very moment in 20 years and wish I could go back. Wish I could be a teenager again, wish I could enjoy the high school experience, and wish I could appreciate everything I do. Or, instead of leaving older me to regret not enjoying this time in my life, I could live in the present. Being preoccupied with what I should have done when I was 12 or worrying about the future will only leave me unsatisfied.