What would you do if you couldn't fail?

     If you asked me before writing this if I had a fear of failure, I would’ve told you no; I’m capable of doing plenty without thinking about failure at all. But this prompt has me questioning whether that’s really true, because there’s no doubt that if I couldn’t fail, I would do a whole lot more than I already do. 

    Take this essay for example. I know I’m supposed to be writing what I’m thinking and trying my best to not hold anything back, but of course, that’s impossible. If I write a full stream of consciousness, putting forth all of the thoughts bouncing around inside my head, that would be a pretty confusing essay. Authentic, but confusing. So I have to hold at least a little back - sort through my thoughts, put them into words, strategically place them where it makes sense - to not get a failing grade. 

    But what if there was no chance I could fail at this? I still wouldn’t write down all of my thoughts (because I do want to write a good essay, after all), but I could take more risks. With the threat of a failing grade nagging at my mind, if there’s something I write in this essay that I’m not sure about leaving in, I’m probably going to end up cutting it out. Because if I try something that makes a bad essay, then I fail, and that grade - that failed attempt at taking a risk- lives on my transcript forever.

    There’s no doubt that I would feel more free in the way I write, or just go about life, if there was no way I could fail, but it begs the question: do I really want to not be able to fail? At first thought, it seems like a cool power to have; I could go to whatever school I want and excel at any sport or activity I choose. But when I think about the consequences it could have, I start to second guess. Failure is how we learn. As we make our way through life - trying new things, meeting new people, building friendships - failure is what guides us; it tells us what we need to do differently in the future. 

    Our entire lives, whether we realize it or not, we have experienced failures that teach us how we can improve. Take childhood dodgeball for example; a staple in most every elementary school PE class. I remember that the first couple times I played it, I would run straight to the center of the playing field when I heard our teacher yell “GO!” - right into the thick of the action. And more often than not, I would be out within the first few seconds of the game.

    If you were to watch me play a game of dodgeball now, you would immediately notice I’m not nearly as gutsy as I was in elementary school. I’m more the type to hang out in the back, dodging a ball here and there on the rare occasion that it breaks through the swarm of players in front of me. I’ve learned through my past failures that playing a risky game of dodgeball isn’t a good winning strategy (for me at least), so if I want a chance at winning, it’s best to be cautious. 

    If I couldn’t fail, I would be able to enjoy life without being held back by the fear that whatever I’m doing might lead me to failure. I would be able to win dodgeball while also feeling free to use whatever strategy I want. I would be able to write this essay without worrying about the guidelines and word limits. But I also wouldn’t learn anything from those experiences (like the best dodgeball strategy or how to write a good essay). So I would never choose to be free of failure; while some things may be more enjoyable without being afraid of failing, that fear is what keeps us accountable to try our hardest and learn from our mistakes.