What role does procrastination play in your life?

     If you were a part of Mr. Butler’s sophomore history class, it’s probably hard to imagine anything worse than memorizing flowcharts. But for me, the research papers were far worse. Sure, flowcharts could be tedious and boring, but I never procrastinated on those like I did with my papers. I still remember the panicked feeling I would get every quarter when it set in that I had a paper due the next day and wasn’t even halfway done. 

    Look, I did all I could to get started, but my brain just wouldn’t let me work. I would even set mini-goals for myself a few weeks before our papers were due. “Ok, I'll make an outline today, and then I’ll write one paragraph every day until I’ve filled up five pages (usually ten paragraphs and a couple pictures to fill up the extra space) and then I’ll have a couple days left over to clean it up a bit.”

    If you haven’t already guessed, that never happened. I would leave it until the last couple days before it was due, even when he pushed the deadline back for the class, and then I would work through the night to finish it on time. It got to the point where I had to film a time lapse of myself working so I wouldn’t be tempted to go on my phone (a solid technique by the way if you’re a fellow procrastinator, but certainly not ideal).

    I’m still not sure why the papers were so much harder for me than memorizing flowcharts. Maybe it’s because there was a clear process for memorization. Everyone had different methods, but it wasn’t as daunting a task when you knew exactly what to do and how long it would take. Granted, it did take a while at first, but I got the hang of it. 

    Research papers, on the other hand, never got easier for me. I would always get stuck in this cycle of being stressed because I need to write a paper, and then I would start watching a show or playing a game to distract myself from the stress. But then instead of getting right back to work after taking a break I would get even MORE stressed because I just wasted time and the due date is creeping closer and closer. Then I would just end up procrastinating more because I didn’t want to face the reality that eventually I would just have to sit down and work. 

    Basically it was just a vicious cycle that started with stress and ended with… more stress. I guess my problem was that I didn't ever want to start. It can be fine once you get into a rhythm and aren’t distracted, but it took me a while to break the cycle. As the stress got to me, and as I got deeper into the procrastination, it just got harder to break the cycle. It’s kind of like when you’re riding a bike and start to build up speed, turning your legs over quicker. And as you start moving faster and the wheels start cycling around ever more rapidly, it takes a lot longer to come to a stop. 

    As I kept delaying my work and telling myself that writing a paper would be just miserable, it got so much more difficult to stop overthinking and just work. I think that was my problem. Right before I was about to start working, I would hesitate for a second too long and think about all of the researching and writing and reading that was ahead of me, and all of a sudden, writing a paragraph a day seemed much more intimidating than it really was. Looking back, I’m sure that if I had just started writing it wouldn’t have been so bad (maybe even kind of interesting? 👀). So to any procrastinators out there, just start. It won't be that bad.